


You're No Soldier

by thatwhirringsound



Series: Prompt Fills [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Crowley is a dick, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Love at First Sight, M/M, Prompt Fill, self worth issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-16 08:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1339300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwhirringsound/pseuds/thatwhirringsound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Castiel is in a horrible relationship with Crowley. One night he meets Dean at a bar.</p><p>Dean shows Castiel that he is worth more than the chain around his finger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're No Soldier

The bar’s music was soft and relaxing, people leaning in close in order to whisper and exchange stories, unwilling to break the atmosphere around them. Sitting in darkened booths, lights dimmed, creating an atmosphere of privacy and mystery, people were able to forget everything but this moment, the world outside dissolving.

It was a beautiful escape.

There was a young blonde woman sitting next to a very tall man, practically on top of each other, lost in their moment. Nothing could touch them there, in their cocoon of darkness and music, conversing about plans, I-love-yous, smiling and kissing and just _being._

Castiel watched all of these things from his corner, beer sitting in front of him solemnly, untouched. He knew he’d need his wits, he couldn’t let his guard down, not with--

His hands twitched towards the glass, but he stayed vigilant, coat sitting stiffly on his shoulders as he cataloged the people around them, wishing, wishing, wanting so badly. He knew his fate, and he would keep his head high and go through life avoiding _him_ as much as physically possible.

An arm made it’s way into his vision, cutting off the view of the young couple, so happy and in love--he blinked. Following the arm, flannel rolled up to expose smooth forearms, leading up to strong shoulders and a jaw sprinkled in scruff, creating a rugged and manly look. Beautiful, full lips sitting underneath a thin nose which separated the most stunning green eyes Castiel had ever seen in his life. It took a moment for the dark-haired man to realize he had stopped breathing at the sight of the very very attractive man standing over him, smiling.

“Hey, there, thought you could use another beer.” And dear Lord, the man’s voice, deep and a little rough, a slight accent adding to his overall image. This is exactly the kind of man Castiel had always dreamed of, but knew he’d never have.

“Oh, thank you.”

Instead of moving away the man moved to slide into the booth across from Castiel, easily sprawling out comfortably. Castiel’s attention is drawn to the rings on the man’s hand, which are strong and rough from work, reminding him of the ring currently sitting in his pocket. “Any reason you’re sitting over here alone?” His attention snaps back to the nameless man’s face.

“I am waiting for someone. They have been gone for quite some time, and I do not have a car of my own.” He decides that it is close enough to the truth, this man does not need his life story right now. He has enough social grace to know that.

The man’s smile widens at that, “Well, how about I keep you company while you wait?”

Castiel doesn’t know how to react to that. This man is actively trying to interact with him, something that has never happened to him...ever. Most people are put off by his serious and literal nature, but here Green-Eyes is, sitting and talking to him, beautiful smile lighting up his face.

“The name’s Dean, by the way,” and Castiel suddenly finds himself pulling out of his own head again. It was a testament to the state of his social life that he kept forgetting that he had to actually _pay attention_ to his surroundings. He grasps the hand being offered to him, rough and strong just as he’d imagined, ring cold on his skin.

“Castiel”

Their hands part, “Is that foreign?”

Castiel is already shaking his head, used to these questions. “My parents are extremely religious, my siblings and I are all named after angels.”

Something glints in Dean’s eyes at that, but he doesn’t say anything more on it.

“Lots of siblings, huh?”

Castiel nods, “Yes, six elder brothers and one sister, I am the youngest in the family.”

“Ah,” Dean takes a swig of one of the beers he had brought over, “I’m the oldest myself. Got two little brothers, Sammy and Adam, total pains in my ass, but what can you do?”

He can feel a small smile making its way onto his face. Dean is just so honest and kind, Castiel can’t help how easy it is to like the man. Something about him screams a caring figure, loving and loyal, features softening as he talks of his brothers.

“Actually…” Dean turns, peaking around the side of the booth, finding something. “Hey, Sammy! Keep it PG over there!” The tall man, Sam, who Castiel had been watching earlier, turns towards them, glaring, the young blonde woman laughing out in glee.

“He is your brother?” Dean turns to him, still smiling at being able to embarrass his sibling so easily.

“He wishes he wasn’t. That’s Sam, my giant moose of a brother, and his girlfriend, sorry, _fiancee_ , Jessica. I brought them here to celebrate getting engaged.” He shrugs, tapping his fingers on the table.

Castiel considers that, “May I ask, why are you over here with me, then?”

Now, he can’t say for sure since it is pretty dark (and thinking about seeing the other man in the light creates a sort of longing in him), but he’s fairly sure Dean blushed then. “Ah, well, they were being all couple-y and I figured they deserved some alone time, and you know, I saw you over here, and you looked kinda sad, and…” His words died off, hand scratching at the back of his neck self consciously.

It struck Castiel then that Dean was hitting on him, and it threw him through a loop. Dean was a beautiful man, and here he was buying him drinks, talking to him, smiling, _definitely blushing_. Castiel knew he shouldn’t indulge, but when would he ever be able to do this again?

Never.

“Okay.”

Dean’s eyes snapped to meet his, “Okay?”

He nodded, determined, and Dean smiled at that.

They talked for what felt like hours, exchanging stories and smiling and just _being_. Castiel--no, _Cas_ as Dean had dubbed him (and his stomach had done some serious flips at that, he knew he’d never want another to call him that again)--hadn’t smiled so often in his life. It was a perfect moment, something he never wanted to let go of. He knew that Dean would be very easy to fall for, he was stunning, loving, careful and full of so much passion. Cas longed to touch and keep him, and it was that thought that brought him up short. Of course Dean noticed, smile falling as he reached across the table to grasp Castiel’s hand in his own as if he were something special.

“Cas? What’s wrong? Did I say something?”

And he wanted to keep this moment forever, but he knew, _knew_ , that he needed to tell Dean the truth.

“I...wasn’t completely honest with you, Dean.” He couldn’t meet his gaze, was sure it was confused, but Dean deserved to know that he was broken and used, so so unworthy.

Nervously, the other man tried to joke it off, “What, your name isn’t really Castiel? Not a big deal, I mean…”

The blue-eyed man shook his head, “No, it’s um...I told you I was waiting for someone, and you should know that he’s my, um…” He looked up, making eye contact, “my fiance.” He reached into his pocket, pulling a simple silver band out, placing it on the table between them, like a barrier.

Dean seemed to deflate, leaning back, staring numbly at the jewelry that suddenly seemed like a chain, suffocating Castiel, vision tunneling…

“Why didn’t you tell me, about, ah…” Suddenly their easy interactions are forced, a weight pushing down on them, between them.

And he knew he wouldn’t feel right until he told him the truth, “Because I don’t love him.”

Dean looked at him wide-eyed, a spark of hope there. “His name is Crowley, and I don’t love him, and I don’t want to marry him, I never want to see him again.” He was tugging down on his coat now, nervous, “He brought me here tonight for quality time, or whatever he called it, but then he left me because he got drunk, saw some pretty thing he wanted, and told me he’d be back for me eventually.”

Cas was digging into his coat now, using it as a barrier, pulling roughly on the sleeve to make it cover him more.

A growl made him look up, and Dean was filled with righteous fury, “Are you telling me, that your _fiance_ , left you here all alone to sleep with someone else, and _you are okay with that?_ ”

“I, well--”

Dean sat forward, banging his fist on the table, “No, Cas, there is no excuse for that. I bet this isn’t the first time either.” Silence, “What the hell, man. Are you really taking that? You deserve so much better, you deserve…”

Castiel snapped, “What, _you?_ ”

Dean sat back in stunned silence, wondering at the man across from him who seemed so reserved and yet passionate. “I’m worthless, Dean. The youngest of a very large, very influential family. I will never take over the company, so they decided I could be used for power instead. I am merely a bargaining chip, do you understand? I am useless, and this is the only thing that I can do right, and I don’t expect anyone could ever find it in them to love me, why should they? So yes, I let him find pleasure everywhere else, because no one should have to be stuck with me for the rest of their lives ever.”

He’s panting by the end of it, angry tears stinging at his eyes, and he feels so full of emotion, like it’s bursting out of him through the seams. He’s never told anyone these things, and he can’t understand what it is about Dean that makes him want to let someone else carry his burden too, make it easier for him.

Dean’s look is dark, eyes shadowed by fury, muscles shifting as his hands clench. “Did, _Crowley_ ,” he spits the word out like a curse, “tell you that?”

Cas swallows roughly, “I, um…”

“I will _kill that smarmy bastard,_ how dare he say those things to you, Cas.” He reaches out desperately, grasping Cas’ more slender hands in his own, “You are...I don’t even know how to put it in words. You care about people and things you’ve never met, the way you look at the world is so unique, and I could probably spend the rest of my life never quite understanding, but I wouldn’t care. You value all things, no matter how small. Hell, _bees_ are your favorite thing to watch because you want to figure out their patterns, I don’t know anyone who does that. I’ve never met a single person who is like you, and you deserve someone caring and loving in your life.”

He tries to pull his hands out of Dean’s, but the man holds fast. “I know you probably stay with him out of a sense of duty, but if this guy can’t even stay faithful to you, can’t even _try_ to love you, then it’s not worth it, Cas. Your family can go screw itself. Fight them, fight for your chance to love and be hurt and do what you want. You are not an emotionless soldier, Cas, you feel so much, and I admire you for that.”

That’s when Dean sees them, because Castiel’s sleeves were riding up from his grip. He can see Dean planning murder as he grips tan hands, pulling them closer. “Are those _bruises_?”

“It’s nothing, Crowley just gets a little rough sometimes when he’s drinking, and I say things I shouldn’t, it’s fine--”

“Cas,” Dean let’s go of his hands, breathing deeply, getting his emotions under control. “Cas, please, you need to know that none of this is okay, right? Please tell me you recognize that.”

“I...yes, of course I do. But what else can I do? I have no where to go, I have no one to lean on, I can’t leave.”

Dean squares up, look determined now, "Well then stay with me." And again this man has left him speechless. He couldn’t mean… "Please, Cas. Let me help you. I know I’m not much, but I can at least give you a place to crash while you figure things out.”

And Castiel wants it so so much, wants this wonderful person to show him kindness and show him what it is to have your own life. But, “Dean, you have shown me more kindness than I ever thought I’d see. Don’t discount yourself, please.”

Dean smiles, and Castiel just knows that he’s gone on it, “Maybe we can help each other work on our self-worth, huh?”

He allows a smile to make its way onto his face. “I’d like that.”

Castiel leaves the ring on the table.

**Author's Note:**

> always taking prompts
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://forgottentrenchcoats.tumblr.com)
> 
> [Livejournal](http://whirringsounds.livejournal.com)


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